Missing Memories

Welcome our Guest Blogger, Wendy Reynolds. To follow her personally, see bottom of the blog.

There is only one thing worse than forgetting your camera at a momentous event. And that is…not being there at all. I experienced that last week, though no fault of my own. My anger immediately placed blame on someone who is a wonderful role model for my children, so after that the guilt set in. Please indulge me while I expand on my personal catastrophe.

My twin daughters are in Kindergarten at a small private school. Each week one student from each class is selected as Student of the Week. The award is presented in Chapel on Fridays, and parents are always notified and welcomed to attend. Back in October, Brooke was the proud recipient, and my husband and I were there to record the entire process. She was so surprised to see Mommy and Daddy waiting for her after she received her certificate!

Image 2

Haley (her twin sister) was proud of her, but just a tad bit miffed (as any 5-year-old who doesn’t have complete control of their emotions would be). My husband and I just assured her that she will get the award one day, and Brooke will be just as proud of her when she does. Haley snapped out of it quickly, and all was right in twin land.

Then came last Friday. It started out as a typical day. I dropped the girls off at school, and I came to work. Everything at work was business as usual, and then I got a call from my mom at 3:09 p.m. I remember the exact time, as we often do when something tragic hits. I knew she had just picked the girls up from school at 3 p.m. and she usually doesn’t call, so already my interest was piqued. I answer the phone and my mom blurts out, “GUESS WHO GOT STUDENT OF THE WEEK?” She is never EVER one to sugar coat anything. “WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? We were not NOTIFIED! This can’t be!” came my reply. But sure enough, she brought the class stuffed pet (Chester the raccoon) home, as all students of the week do. I was furious!

Empty classroom

I immediately began typing an e-mail to their teacher. She was at a conference at the end of the week, so the girls had a substitute teacher last Thursday and Friday. I knew this played in to her forgetting, but it did not help with my devastation. I couldn’t stop imagining Haley’s sad little face as she looked around the room looking for Mommy and Daddy to share in her surprise. My heart was literally breaking. I had to leave work! I have to make it up to her! This was not my fault!

We try desperately to treat the girls exactly the same. It is a tough job to keep twins feeling like they are loved equally. It is always something, and siblings who are not twins are the same I’m sure…but twins are my only point of reference. Even though I was able to stop at the store to get Haley a special surprise (which Brooke promptly asked where her surprise was – I can never win!), it still just wasn’t the same. Haley assures me she was not upset, and everything is fine. But do I know for sure? No, I don’t.

Their teacher was very apologetic and offered to let Haley keep the class pet for longer than usual. She is a wonderful teacher, and I certainly did not stay angry. I am just disappointed that I don’t have a video of BOTH of the girls. One day in the future when we are watching Brooke’s video, Haley will ask me, “Mommy, where’s mine?” And that day my heart will break all over again. It’s tough being a Mommy. And our memories are truly sacred! I know that now, and I will make sure not to take them for granted.

If you’d like to follow Wendy, click on the following links:

Blog: www.preventivedoublemastectomy.wordpress.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/wmreynolds

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